Amanda used to be a happy, cheerful, and funny person. But things feel different these days, and she isn’t the same.

Amanda is only 13 years old, but recent events in her life have brought about difficult emotions. Her dog Pickles recently passed away, and she has been feeling particularly lonely ever since. These feelings of loneliness have been exacerbated by the repetitive bullying she’s experienced at school – both verbally and physically.

But Amanda wants to feel better – that’s why she contacted 0800 What’s Up. Barnardos’ What’s Up counsellors are here for all tamariki and rangatahi in Aotearoa. No issue is too big or too small for our youth counsellors.

When Amanda reached out to the 0800 What’s Up helpline one evening, she quickly explained she had self-harmed not long before making the phone call and that she would seriously consider suicide if she kept having these kinds of thoughts and feelings.

She talked about Pickles, about the bullying, the loneliness, the anger, the grief,… all these emotions she was feeling. That night, Amanda’s feelings were heard and validated – which was an important step for Amanda.

There was no immediate threat to Amanda’s safety – Amanda did say to her 0800 What’s Up counsellor she didn’t have any immediate intent to end her life at the time, but the thought would linger if she didn’t feel better over time. The counsellor provided a safe space to hear Amada's concerns and validate her thoughts and feelings. Together they explored what different steps Amanda can take to feel better, including hobbies, activities, or reaching out to chat with 0800 What’s Up again.

They also brainstormed the support available to Amanda and Amanda also asked her What’s Up counsellor to talk directly to her mum. The useful conversation with Amanda’s mum helped the counsellor understand what other support Amanda could have. Amanda’s mum was already aware Amanda wasn’t feeling good that night and she had a feeling Amanda would call 0800 What’s Up. It’s important that parents provide a supportive environment and space for their tamariki and rangatahi to talk, so our counsellor was pleased to hear that Amanda’s mum was there to support her. Our counsellor encouraged Amanda to talk to her mum about doing something they enjoy together so she can feel better.

Amanda hung up the phone feeling empowered to talk to her mum and reach out to the other supports available in her life. She also jotted down a list of things to do to make her feel better. She knows she can reach out to What’s Up again if she needs to talk to someone, and that someone can be the same counsellor if she wants.

Any tamariki and rangatahi can ask to chat with a 0800 What’s Up counsellor who they positively relate to or trust. They are also able to receive regular counselling with the same counsellor, which means they don’t need to repeat their issues over and over to someone new and the counsellor can build on from each discussion (new) ways of working through issues. This is a unique aspect of 0800 What’s Up.

0800 What's Up: an important service

Amanda is far from being alone in her situation – 45% of all calls and chats 0800 What’s Up receives relate to emotional and psychological issues, which include problems related to anger, grief and loss, loneliness, deliberate self-harm, mental health, and suicide. Barnardos is seeing first-hand the increased anxiety in children and young people across all our frontline services. 0800 What’s Up is part of the continuum of services that Barnardos provides to support children and their whānau.

Barnardos’ counselling service 0800 What’s Up is the only helpline and online chat service in Aotearoa for tamariki and rangatahi aged 5 to 19 years old. It’s free, confidential, and available seven days a week from 11am to 11pm. No issue is too big or too small for our trained counsellors. Tamariki and rangatahi can talk to a counsellor on 0800 942 8787 or chat online at whatsup.co.nz.

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