At 64, Lisa thought life would continue at a steady pace. Work, home, sleep, repeat. After years of raising her own four children as a single mum, she had built a routine for herself in Aotearoa after moving from Tonga decades ago.

But life changed suddenly when she was faced with an impossible choice – step in and care for her five grandchildren, or risk them being separated and placed in state care.

For Lisa, there was never really a decision to make.

She chose to keep her grandchildren together.

Overnight, retirement stopped being something she even thought about. Instead, her days became filled with school drop offs, appointments, emotional outbursts, routines, and the constant demands of raising five grandchildren aged between one and pre-teen.

“It’s better to stay with the kids,” says Lisa.

Before becoming their caregiver, Lisa worked long hours, often picking up double shifts to provide for her family. She had independence and freedom. Now, much of her life revolves around making sure the children are safe, supported, and have what they need to thrive.

At the same time, Lisa had to step away from work. Losing her income created financial pressure, and managing everyday costs for a household of six quickly became overwhelming.

“There was a struggle,” she says.

From groceries and school uniforms to transport, power bills, nappies, and personal loans, Lisa suddenly found herself responsible for meeting the needs of five growing tamariki while also navigating unfamiliar systems and services.

“I missed my job,” she says. “People said I was lucky to stay home, but I missed working.”

Some of the children are also navigating ADHD and possible autism diagnoses, bringing additional challenges for the family. There are appointments to attend, assessments to organise, schools to work alongside, and ongoing support needed to help the children regulate their emotions and feel safe and secure.

Lisa says there were moments where everything felt overwhelming.

That’s where the support around her began to make a difference.

A couple of the children attend a Barnardos Early Learning Centre in Auckland, where Lisa and her whānau were connected to additional support through Te Korowai Mokopuna, in-centre social work support, Barnardos kaimahi Penelope and centre manager Mandy began walking alongside Lisa and her family.

Together, they helped connect Lisa to services and practical support tailored to the needs of her whānau. This included advocacy, budgeting support, financial assistance, referrals, and helping Lisa navigate appointments and assessments for the children.

“She helps me with everything,” Lisa says as she points to Penelope. “Appointments, budgeting, everything. She shows me the right way.”

Barnardos also helped provide practical essentials including food, clothing, bedding, nappies, and wipes, easing some of the day-to-day pressure Lisa was carrying.

“My grandchildren were also part of the van run offered at their Barnardos Early Learning centre. This means they get picked up and dropped back home after. It’s been such a huge help for me and means I have a bit of time for myself for a few hours,” says Lisa.

The support has also helped the children access the right care earlier, particularly as some of them navigate behavioural and developmental needs linked to trauma, ADHD, and possible autism.

Over time, life at home has become more stable. Budgeting support has helped Lisa manage weekly costs with confidence, and ongoing guidance means she no longer has to navigate systems alone.

For Lisa, having people walk alongside her during such a difficult period has made a significant difference.

“Without the support of Penelope, I don’t know what I would do,” she says. “It’s helped me and the children a lot.”

Today, Lisa describes a calmer home environment. The children are attending school and early learning, settling into routines, and responding positively to the stability around them.

“They are happy now,” she says.

While there are still ongoing needs as the children grow, Lisa’s focus remains on providing a safe, steady home where they can thrive.

Looking back, she is clear about the impact of the support she has received.

“Without their [Penelope and Mandy] help, I’m not sure what would have happened,” she says.

For Lisa, the journey continues – but she is no longer carrying it alone.

The grandmother keeping her five grandchildren together