Sam is 14 years old and he is going through a tough time at school – recently relationships with his friends have taken an unexpected turn and he started being bullied. Understandingly, Sam has been feeling down.

It started when his school mates framed him for doing something he didn’t do, which left him feeling sad and angry. Soon after that, out of the blue, a close friend of his told him they no longer wanted to be friends with him – the shock of the news and the news itself destabilised Sam and brought a lot of new feelings of uncertainty into Sam’s world. But things didn’t end here – the bullying started when the same friend blocked Sam on social media, sent him rude texts, and blocked his phone number. Sam also started feeling scared for his safety when he was threatened by people close to the friend who no longer wanted Sam in their life.

Sam’s going through a rollercoaster of emotions – some of which he has never experienced before. This is what promoted him to reach out to 0800 What’s Up, Barnardos’ counselling helpline. Determined to feel better, Sam went to whatsup.co.nz website and, within a couple of clicks, he started a chat online with one of our trained counsellors.

Barnardos’ counselling service, 0800 What’s Up, is the only helpline and online chat service in Aotearoa for tamariki and rangatahi aged 5 to 19 years old. It’s free, confidential, and available seven days a week from 11am to 11pm. No issue is too big or too small for our counsellors.

Through the chat, Sam said to our counsellor that he wanted a space to talk since he didn’t have friends he could trust. This is exactly what our counsellor did – they listened to Sam and let him express his feelings about what had happened.

Then, Sam and our counsellor discussed ways of keeping Sam safe. Together, they created a safety plan about what to do and where Sam should go if he is threatened again. When Sam feels unsafe, Sam knows he can go to public places like the mall in the instances where his school is closed.

They also discussed trusted adults in his life he can go to, including his teacher or the school counsellor. While Sam explained to the counsellor that he is open to talking to a teacher, he doesn’t feel fully comfortable talking to his school counsellor – there’s currently a long waiting list and he is worries about the stigma that comes with seeing the counsellor. Sam and the What’s Up counsellor also discussed ideas of what to do to help him feel better and encouraged him to focus on other exciting things in his life.

Sam finished the chat with 0800 What’s Up feeling heard and empowered to deal with the difficult situation he is in. Sadly, for many young rangatahi like Sam, problems linked to relationships with friends can take a huge toll on their mental wellbeing. In the last year, 26% of the young people who reached out to 0800 What’s Up mentioned relationship issues in their chat with one of our counsellors.

0800 What’s Up

All children and young people need a safe place to talk. Sometimes, it’s about the little things, sometimes it’s the big stuff. 0800 What’s Upis here to help with all of it, even the problem that may seem too big to solve.

Barnardos’ early intervention approach means that we focus on helping build resilience, empowering children and young people by supporting them to solve their own problems, providing tools and strategies before things get too hard.

Tamariki and rangatahi can a 0800 What’s Up counsellor on 0800 942 8787 or chat online at www.whatsup.co.nz.

From a friend, to a bully